Well, I'm here! I can't believe that after a year of planning, I am finally sitting here next to my mosquito net typing out a blog post.

I wish so bad that I had an inspiring post to make everyone feel good, but the truth is, I'm a little overwhelmed myself right now! Not in a bad way; I'm not sad, and I'm so glad I'm here, but I just have a lot to think about at this point. If I've learned anything so far, it's that talking about doing this, and actually going, are two totally different things. I have read blogs for an entire year. I have been to fundraising dinners. I have talked to people that have been. I have thought about this trip and what life would be like for an entire year. But to really be here, in the middle of this poverty, is a completely different thing. To really know that I won't see my family for six weeks is hard. To be constantly (and I mean constantly!) hot is hard. To not have running water is hard. To not know what I'm eating all the time is hard. It's all a lot harder in reality.


Overall, I'm starting to understand that truly and deeply loving people is not always easy. It's so, so messy. I want to be here and I KNOW I'm supposed to be here for a specific reason, but it is not to say this is fun and games. This is hard. And half the time I want to sit in my Mom's lap and just cry my eyes out because it's so confusing. But I also know that there are millions of kids that want the same thing, and that's what keeps me going.


It also made me think about Jesus' life. He could have come and healed every disease with the snap of a finger. He could have come here, lived the high life, sat back and merely said, "Let every disease be healed." He could have healed every disease without touching anyone. He could have raised people from the dead without meeting any of their family. He could have changed the heart of a prostitute without hearing her story. But he never did that. Jesus made extremely long journeys by foot and did things that were not culturally acceptable in order to make relationships with these people. I think sometimes we forget how important relationships are. Jesus realized these people weren't just hurting. They had stories. They had pasts. They needed people to pray with them. To touch their hands. To hear their stories. To hug them without being afraid. To love them.


My prayer for me as I'm in Liberia, and for you wherever you are, is to truly and genuinely love the people we encounter. I am definitely a dreamer, and sometimes, that gets the best of me. When I start thinking about how much need there is in the world, it becomes so incredibly overwhelming. I don't have the ability to "fix" all the world's problems. It is not just a matter of handing food to someone. It isn't even a matter of giving people money. There is disease, and corrupt governments, and lack of education, and so much more that contributes to poverty. As much as I want to, I can't be the mom to 147 million orphans. But I can make a relationship with those that are put in my life. I can change the life of one, or maybe even a few. I can be there to show one child that they are unconditionally loved. I can feed one hungry belly. I can but a band-aid on one boo-boo. And I pray that eventually, when helping that one, that God will lead me to another. For you, that may mean praying with that man on the side of the road instead of passively giving him a crumpled five dollar bill. It may mean truly listening to your friend's problems instead of always turning the conversation back to your own. It may mean forgiving someone. Whatever it may be, in whatever part of the world, I pray that we all learn how to love deeper.

I haven't been to an orphanage yet, so later this week I will update with pictures and stories about the kids! Thank you so much for taking time to pray for me! I love all of you so much!