Today was most definitely one of the best days of my life. 

We started the day off going to an orphanage that isn't one of the ones financially supported by Orphan Relief and Rescue. The more time I spent there, the harder it was to fight back the tears. I've never visited an orphanage that doesn't have someone financially supporting it, so it was a huge reality check for me to see. There are around 110 orphanages in Liberia and the vast majority of them are just like this one--leaking, rotting, and filthy, and filled with sick and skinny children. There are only a select few that have been fortunate enough to be sponsored by a church or some other sort of organization, and even those aren't necessarily up to standard. I walked into the kid's bedroom and my stomach nearly dropped. It was a room filled with twin sized bunk beds with thin, rotting mattresses that didn't even completely cover the wood frame. I asked the "father" of the orphanage how many kids slept in each individual bunk. He said three. That means six kids sleep in one bunk bed. The thought of three babies sleeping on those rotting mattresses was enough to make me feel physically sick. 

Needless to say, my morning started off very emotional. You know that feeling when you know God put you somewhere for a reason? I KNOW in my heart, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I was supposed to see that orphanage today. And despite the overwhelming sorrow I felt for my brothers and sisters living in that condition, I also felt such a hope when I thought of the possibility . I could almost hear God saying, "Haley, I am the God who makes beauty from the ashes." And I have complete faith He will do just that. 

After lunch, we took thirty kids from one of our core orphanages to the beach. Seeing their little faces when they saw the water was worth every minute, every penny, and every inconvenience of traveling halfway across the world. You would have thought that we had just walked into Disney World if you didn't know any better. They laughed and laughed and played for a solid three hours in the first three feet of water. I held onto "Eddy Boy", a precious three year-old who was everything but scared of the water. Within minutes of being on the beach he was completely butt naked and running as fast as he could for the ocean! After jumping waves and building sand castles for the entire afternoon, little Eddy was worn out and fell asleep right on my shoulder. It was the perfect ending to a perfect day. 

The only words I have to describe today are "pure joy." To see the faces of abandoned children light up is the closest thing to heaven on earth I've ever experienced. With each new day in Liberia, I am learning that one thing is constant. God is faithful. One day at a time, He is changing people's hearts to fall more and more in love with His children, and I couldn't be more thankful to have a front row seat in watching His plan unfold. 

This post has nothing to do with Africa, and everything to do with the reason I am here. 

Dear Dad,

Happy Birthday! I can't tell you how bad I wish you were right here beside me so I could give you a big hug and tell you that I love you. I hope Mom got you a good present because I know how much presents mean to both of you! (Hahaha, that's a big joke for everyone that doesn't know my parents.)

I know you've heard me say this before when I talk about Africa, but you and Mom play a huge part of why I'm here to begin with. I'm in Liberia this summer because I want children to know that there is a God that loves them unconditionally. That God's love is something that never ends, and despite what we sometimes think, never lessens. I want them to know that they are not forgotten. That they mean enough to God that He will send people half way across the world to hold them and tell them that they are loved. I know that their little heads don't comprehend all that yet, but when they look back on their life, I want them to know that He provided for them. 

The only reason I know what it means to be loved unconditionally is because you and Mom have showed me. Day after day, for 20 years, you have been a living example of what unconditional love means. I have never once gone to bed wondering if I meant something to someone. You and Mom are the reason I know what it means to be loved day in and day out, no matter what conditions, no matter what circumstances. 

I know you don't think you're anything special, and you probably don't think you've been a perfect parent, but you're my hero just the way you are. Thank you for always, always being there. For taking care of me when I'm sick. For telling me I don't look pretty gossiping, and telling me not to stress so much. For letting me figure life out myself, even when you already know what's best for me. For showing me what humility looks like. For being the best husband, Dad, and man I've ever met. 

I love you so much, Dad!

I've been waiting to post until I got to visit both orphanages! What an incredible two days it has been. The first day we visited an orphanage named Frances Gaskin, where about 30 children live with a husband and wife that have been married for 23 years. What an incredible example of marriage--they have 30 kids and they were still flirting like high schoolers! Today we went to the second orphanage, named Danny Feeney, that has about 40 kids living there. From the minute I got out of the car, I had what felt like hundreds of little hands all over my entire body. In the three different orphanages I've visited in my entire life, one thing is never different. The kids love touch. No matter how old they are, and no matter what is going on, they want your hand to hold. I wish I could rock every one one of them to sleep every night. We didn't get back until late, so I just ate rice with pumpkin soup (we have a precious cook we call "Ma Mary"), and took a shower under the stars on one side of a cement wall, with a night club on the other side. Nothing like having a little back up music to your shower!

Since I've been in Liberia, I've experienced about as many emotions as I think one person can have. However, through every emotion, one thing remains the same. God constantly whispers to me, "Love one, Haley." In the past two days, I've seen about sixty orphans. There's a  part of me that just wants to be the mother to all sixty of them. I would love to be able to give them all enough food for them to be perfectly healthy, to help them with their homework, to dress them in the morning, and rock them to bed at night. But I also know that I can't do that alone. I am one person. I have two hands. And then I remember, I love those kids with all of my heart, but my love for them pales in comparison to the Father's love for them. He is at work all over the world, fulfilling his promise: "I will not leave you as orphans. I will come to you." Take my life for instance. If you would have told me my senior year of high school that in two years I would be in Africa for six weeks, I think I would have laughed and cried all at the same time. But God's plans are so much bigger than ours, and He will make a way for His children to be taken care of. So, because I know His heart is so big for His children, I am able to step forward with His command to, "Love one."

Since before I came to Liberia, I've been thinking about a challenge for myself, as well as anyone who would like to join me. In the Bible, Jesus tells us that, "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look out for orphans and widows in distress and keep oneself from being polluted by the world." --(James 1:27) I think it's interesting that Jesus specified two kinds of people that he wanted us to help in particular. Of course He had a heart for all people, but I think he specified these two because they have especially fragile hearts. Orphans and widows can both feel abandoned and forgotten, and I think that is the last thing that God wants them to feel. So, the challenge is for everyone to have a genuine, constant relationship with one orphan and one widow. I know this sounds time consuming and it may be, but I think that God will smile if he sees His children taking time to care for these two special kind of people. And I also think that in the long run, we will gain so much more from getting to know them than they will from us. Even if it's just for an hour every week, take the time to show them they are loved and remembered. If you're having trouble finding someone to visit, try asking a pastor. They usually have a list of people within the church that are in need of some company! 

p.s. I'm having a hard time uploading pictures to the blogger website, but I'm trying my hardest to upload them to Facebook! Love you all!

Before we start our full-time work at the orphanage, we went to the beach for two nights to get to know each other, talk about what this summer would look like, and laugh a whole lot! Although I was hesitant to go at first (because I am so antsy to see the kids), I am so glad that we had those three days together. It made me so thankful to have the opportunity to spend four weeks with these incredible people. We are all so different, but everyone brings something to the table that adds so much to the group.

It was also such a blessing to have three days to just think about why I am here. It's amazing how much God can show you in the span of six days. My mind has been going a mile a minute. As I was sitting on a beautiful beach, surrounded by children climbing trees, it made me think about what I was really doing here in Liberia. What was it inside of me that made me want to come here? See, initially, when I think about a mission trip, or a third world country in general, the first thought that comes to my mind is, "Oh, I feel so bad for those people." However, sitting on that beach, seeing those laughing children, I realized that yes, there are so many things wrong in Liberia, but my goal should not be to make these people's lives just like mine. Yes, I have been so blessed. I have grown up with a nice house, a car, swimming pools, Christmas presents, and paved roads. And I have absolutely loved my life. But these people have a culture they love too. As I looked around, I realized that they are surrounded by some of the most beautiful land in the world, they appreciate people in a way that I have never seen before, and they have faith that is stronger than mine has ever been. My goal has always been to give these children my childhood, but I'm slowly realizing that's not what they need.

Yes, my heart breaks in two for kids that don't have the love of a family. That's why I'm here. Please don't mistake me for saying that these people don't need help. These kids need families. They need someone to show them what limitless love looks like. They need someone to feed, clothe, and protect them. I'm not down-playing the deep need in this country.  I'm just saying that I think sometimes it's easy for us to want to "Americanize" other cultures in our attempt to help them. These people don't need everything we have. They are content living simple. Yes, of course we need to make sure our brothers and sisters are fed and healthy and loved. But I do not feel bad that these people don't have iPhones, retirement plans, and the nicest cars available. I don't think any of those things are bad, but I just want us to remember that their way is different than ours, but just because it is different does not make it wrong. Whenever you're helping someone in any situation, it's easy to just want to take over and do things for people so that it gets done fast and our way, but who does that really help anyway? Whether in Africa, or teaching school in America, I think the best way to genuinely help others is to immerse yourself in THEIR world. It is so easy to do the opposite, but I think we will all find that people can teach us a lot of valuable lessons if we just take a minute to listen to their perspective instead of ours.

Well, I'm here! I can't believe that after a year of planning, I am finally sitting here next to my mosquito net typing out a blog post.

I wish so bad that I had an inspiring post to make everyone feel good, but the truth is, I'm a little overwhelmed myself right now! Not in a bad way; I'm not sad, and I'm so glad I'm here, but I just have a lot to think about at this point. If I've learned anything so far, it's that talking about doing this, and actually going, are two totally different things. I have read blogs for an entire year. I have been to fundraising dinners. I have talked to people that have been. I have thought about this trip and what life would be like for an entire year. But to really be here, in the middle of this poverty, is a completely different thing. To really know that I won't see my family for six weeks is hard. To be constantly (and I mean constantly!) hot is hard. To not have running water is hard. To not know what I'm eating all the time is hard. It's all a lot harder in reality.


Overall, I'm starting to understand that truly and deeply loving people is not always easy. It's so, so messy. I want to be here and I KNOW I'm supposed to be here for a specific reason, but it is not to say this is fun and games. This is hard. And half the time I want to sit in my Mom's lap and just cry my eyes out because it's so confusing. But I also know that there are millions of kids that want the same thing, and that's what keeps me going.


It also made me think about Jesus' life. He could have come and healed every disease with the snap of a finger. He could have come here, lived the high life, sat back and merely said, "Let every disease be healed." He could have healed every disease without touching anyone. He could have raised people from the dead without meeting any of their family. He could have changed the heart of a prostitute without hearing her story. But he never did that. Jesus made extremely long journeys by foot and did things that were not culturally acceptable in order to make relationships with these people. I think sometimes we forget how important relationships are. Jesus realized these people weren't just hurting. They had stories. They had pasts. They needed people to pray with them. To touch their hands. To hear their stories. To hug them without being afraid. To love them.


My prayer for me as I'm in Liberia, and for you wherever you are, is to truly and genuinely love the people we encounter. I am definitely a dreamer, and sometimes, that gets the best of me. When I start thinking about how much need there is in the world, it becomes so incredibly overwhelming. I don't have the ability to "fix" all the world's problems. It is not just a matter of handing food to someone. It isn't even a matter of giving people money. There is disease, and corrupt governments, and lack of education, and so much more that contributes to poverty. As much as I want to, I can't be the mom to 147 million orphans. But I can make a relationship with those that are put in my life. I can change the life of one, or maybe even a few. I can be there to show one child that they are unconditionally loved. I can feed one hungry belly. I can but a band-aid on one boo-boo. And I pray that eventually, when helping that one, that God will lead me to another. For you, that may mean praying with that man on the side of the road instead of passively giving him a crumpled five dollar bill. It may mean truly listening to your friend's problems instead of always turning the conversation back to your own. It may mean forgiving someone. Whatever it may be, in whatever part of the world, I pray that we all learn how to love deeper.

I haven't been to an orphanage yet, so later this week I will update with pictures and stories about the kids! Thank you so much for taking time to pray for me! I love all of you so much!

"Pray out loud, Haley."

"I don't like to pray out loud. I never make sense and right now I don't even know what to ask for."

"Please just do it. I want to hear your prayers so I know exactly what to ask for when I pray for you."

What an incredible testament to what God intended when he created friends. We don't always have the words to comfort, and we sure don't always have the words to fix it, but we do have the power to be there. To hold hands. To cry with. To ask questions that we're afraid to ask ourselves. To love through and through, no matter what. I thank God for friendships like this one, and I pray to be more like this friend every day. 

Thank you for showing me a little more of God's love every day.